| underwater. |
[14. April, 2009 | 09:07 pm] |
| [ | music |
| | halou - the ratio of freckles to stars | ] |
i am so, so over my head and underwater with this project i'm working on.
i've been avoiding the rest of it for a couple weeks now, finishing up another project and using a couple busy weekends as excuses. but now i have to work on it, and i have to finish it. and it's hanging over my head, and i'm terrified, and now that i've started working on it again i'm realizing again and again and again how stupid i was to take this on. i can only do so much, and navigating and building an ecommerce site from scratch is not currently on my résumé.
idiot. this is making me sorely unhappy, and i keep telling myself "oh, if i can finish it by the end of this month (when client needs it, it's already been pushed back a month), then my life will go back to where it needs to be, and i'll be happier, i'll be healthier, i'll sleep better, i'll go to the gym again, i'll finish those books!" that's not the way it works, though. because now i see it's going to be way more than just a push to get it done. the reality is that i have no idea what i'm doing. and my learning pace... if it's even past a standstill at this point... is pretty damn slow.
i was originally writing this to avoid ruining kirby's night, but i think i need a pep talk. again. there's more, there's less, but that's all for now. just kicking myself for taking on freelance work again, when (even though i desperately need the money) i end up ruining a brief portion of my life in the process.
meh!
so lost. |
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